little protectors

After the Fire Safety Day fiasco, I slept with my bedroom door closed. The video had informed us this was safer, as closed doors made it harder for fire to spread. I also asked for a rope ladder in case I needed to escape from my second floor bedroom, but Mom said no.

As an adult, I started leaving the door open. Fears faded, and it was just easier. And on the plus side, now my kitties could sleep with me. Alegria liked to wake me up by batting at my eyeballs. In her later years, she’d sleep on my pillow, next to my head.

When I saw the first sleep doctor in 2014, I mentioned the kitties slept with me. The doctor suggested that could be part of my sleeping problems. I don’t discount that. Multiple kitties and kitty noises and kitty smells. Can’t turn over because a cat blocks the path. And when I shut the door, per the doctor’s suggestions, the kitties cried all night.

Twenty-fourteen was a strange year. Alegria died in January of that year. When I brought home my new CPAP, I didn’t have to worry about her messing with the tubing. Sarafina slept at my feet or legs anyway. Then Sarafina died in July. I barely slept for a week, and when I finally did, I was hallucinating Alegria was there. Maybe a last visit from a kitty spirit, saying “go to bed!”

A decade later, I had let the cats back into the bedroom. In late 2023, as my mental health deteriorated and I started Making Plans, either Fluxx or Little Buddy was always by my side. I joked that they took shifts. They were definitely keeping an eye on me, even if their eyes were closed.

When I met with my CBT-I doctor in 2024, I sheepishly told him I let the cats sleep with me. To my surprise, he said that was fine; research is showing that our pets can be a positive, bringing us comfort. We don’t have to keep them out of the bedroom.

Over a year later, I’ve gone back to keeping the door closed. I think the cats have sensed I am doing better, and now they constantly jump on me while I sleep, demanding pets. Little jerks. I love them so much.