Transitioning to a more “normal” wake up time was difficult for many reasons. An unexpected one was morning anxiety.
Generally, if I was awake before 11 AM, it was because I had to DO SOMETHING. I had a doctor’s appointment or other important meeting. As I slowly started waking up consistently at 10:30, then 10, then 9:30, and so on, I’d sit in my chair, heart racing, afraid I had forgotten where I needed to be.
I stayed up late because I wanted time to do things, but now that I had that time in the mornings, I was lost. The anxiety meant I couldn’t enjoy myself by painting or reading. Worse yet, my brain plays the “well, it’s 10:25, which is really 10:30, which is basically 11, and that’s almost noon, and I need to leave at 12:30, so I can’t do anything now” game. I’d sit in that gray recliner and worry, scrolling uselessly through social media.
Luckily for me and my progress, my friend offered me a new hyperfixation: making pockets! I had known Melissa for over twenty years, having met in the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA). She was receiving a long overdue and well-deserved award. I offered her anything, and she asked me to make her a tie-on pocket.
Pocket Discourse erupts every 18 months or so.
The Pocket A Hidden History of Womens Lives 1660-1900 By Ariane Fennetaux
Why do so many women’s clothes have smaller pockets or no pockets at all?
The Ongoing Evolution of the Pocket
A History of the Pocket – an essay
In European fashion, throughout the middle ages and early Renaissance, men and women kept various bags and purses tied to the belts. During the Early Modern Period, fashion changed so that women wore a pocket tied to their waist. Lower class and working women wore them outside of their garments; upper class women wore them under their dress, accessible by various slits in their clothes.
The 1800s saw rapid changes in women’s silhouettes, and gradually tie-on pockets were replaced by reticules, purses, and handbags. Pocket Discourse often points out this was a way to keep women oppressed, since they couldn’t easily carry their belongings with them, particularly money. Of course, many women in that time period could sew or knew someone who did or could go to a seamstress, so if they wanted to add a pocket, they could. Additionally, fashion in other parts of the world lacked pockets, but women made do. Small pockets or no pockets certainly don’t help women’s liberation, but reality is always more complicated.
Melissa’s persona (her SCA “character”) wouldn’t have historically had a tie on pocket, but Melissa-the-modern-person wanted one. Melissa is eager to help, to teach, to learn, to befriend. She is always in a rush, because there’s not enough hours in the day to do all of the cool things she wants to do. She needed a pocket.
I purchased two different kits (Penny River and At the Sign of the Golden Scissors), each composed of pre-cute fabric layers, bias tape, and wool for embroidery. I planned out two different embroidery patterns that matched her persona. Now that I was awake, I could get to work.
I sat in my gray recliner and I stitched and stitched and stitched. I watched thirty and forty year old episodes of The Price is Right. Eleven AM feels better when The Price is Right is on. My favorite episodes were rips straight from a VHS that included all of the commercials. I am all too aware of what a trap nostalgia can be, but those old commercials quieted my brain for a while, and I could enjoy the process of being creative.
When I emerged from the other side, embroidery and sewing finished, mornings were no longer so scary. Occasionally, I still wonder what to do with myself; creating something for other people is so much easier. Do I still spend too much time doomscrolling? Yes, it’s 2025. But at least my anxiety is about normal things like the state of the world, not that I’m late for an appointment.
Bad Sleeper 
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